[KINDLE] ❥ All Things Consoled: A Daughter's Memoir ➛ Elizabeth Hay – Morefreeinfo.info

All Things Consoled: A Daughter's Memoir A tale of consolation, love and coming to terms with the messiness of family as the author cares for her parents as they age Tissues are needed as Hay s says good bye to her parents and reflects on lifetimes of moments as their relationship changed as they aged and declined. Heart breaking, personal, authentic, raw not an Alzheimer s book or how to guide a story of one family yet a story of every family Will make you think differently about parenting our parents and how you might handle being parented by your children in the future or making choices not to bevery real and timely conversation starter for our generation People are living so much longer than in our grandparent s generation changes the playing field In my mother s fairly small home there are Heart breaking, personal, authentic, raw not an Alzheimer s book or how to guide a story of one family yet a story of every family Will make you think differently about parenting our parents and how you might handle being parented by your children in the future or making choices not to bevery real and timely conversation starter for our generation People are living so much longer than in our grandparent s generation changes the playing field In my mother s fairly small home there are 7 residents over 100.And the writing is beautiful the kind that flows and paints gorgeous pictures Elizabeth Hay, One Of Canada S Most Beloved Novelists Has Written A Poignant, Complex, And Hugely Resonant Memoir About The Shift She Experienced Between Being Her Parents Daughter To Their Guardian And CaregiverAs The Daughter Takes Charge, And The Writer Takes Notes, Her Mother And Father Are Like Two Legendary Icebergs Floating South They Melt Into The Ocean Of Partial, Painful, Inconsistent, And Funny Stories That A Family Makes Over Time Hay S Eloquent Memoir Distills These Stories Into Basic Truths About Parents And Children And Their Efforts Of Understanding With Her Uncommon Sharpness And Wit, Elizabeth Hay Offers Her Insights Into The Peculiarities Of Her Family S Dynamics Her Parents Marriage, Sibling Rivalries, Miscommunications That Spur Decades Of Resentment All Matched By True And Genuine Love And Devotion Her Parents Are Each Startling Characters In Their Own Right Her Mother Is A True Skinflint Who Would Rather Serve Up Wormy Soup Twice Than Throw Away An Ancient Packet Of Perfectly Good Mix Her Father Is A Proud And Well Mannered Man With A Temper That Can Be Explosive All Things Consoled Is A Startlingly Beautiful Memoir That Addresses The Exquisite Agony Of Family, The Unstoppable Force Of Dementia, And The Inevitability Of Aging Emotionally devastating Elizabeth Hay writes with unflinching honesty and lyrical beauty This book feels like a gift. so good elizabeth hay tells a difficult story with grace while this memoir will be relatable for anyone with aging parents and grandparents who are dealing with declining bodies and minds, hay also includes some wonderful insights and observations around end of life care, family dynamics, and family history. What a remarkable book Elizabeth Hay is a brilliant, beautiful, effective writer Here she takes on the most difficult subject of all the adult child and her parents in decline Agonizing So honest it is sometimes off putting, freeing us all from the constraints imposed by presenting only our polite and polished selves, the one that is too sweet to be really human If I was a Pulitzer judge, this would get my vote It has the potential to change the way we see families and ourselves And whil What a remarkable book Elizabeth Hay is a brilliant, beautiful, effective writer Here she takes on the most difficult subject of all the adult child and her parents in decline Agonizing So honest it is sometimes off putting, freeing us all from the constraints imposed by presenting only our polite and polished selves, the one that is too sweet to be really human If I was a Pulitzer judge, this would get my vote It has the potential to change the way we see families and ourselves And while it can be harsh to read, the end result is kind we are all broken, stumbling toward happiness, loving as much as we can in our broken way Ancient Romans used to distinguish between senectus still lively and decrepitus done for from Akin by Emma Donoghue In this memoir about her relationship with her parents, specifically about their last few years, Hay speaks plainly of her belief that they lived too long, a sentiment they would also have echoed Their final years were marked by illness, depression and her mother s dementia it was all so difficult, and expensive Gordon and Jean Hay stumbled into their early nineties in Ancient Romans used to distinguish between senectus still lively and decrepitus done for from Akin by Emma Donoghue In this memoir about her relationship with her parents, specifically about their last few years, Hay speaks plainly of her belief that they lived too long, a sentiment they would also have echoed Their final years were marked by illness, depression and her mother s dementia it was all so difficult, and expensive Gordon and Jean Hay stumbled into their early nineties in an Ottawa retirement home they d moved into in early 2009 so they could be just down the road from their daughter, after 40 years living in London, Ontario The last straw had been her mother s knee surgery and infection, after which her mind was never the same and she couldn t return to her painting.Elizabeth Hay is one of four children, but caregiving fell to her for one reason and another, and it was bound to be a fraught task because of her parents prickly personalities Her mother could be cheerful, but also had a history of being critical and thrifty to the point of absurdity cooking a soup mix though it had worms in it, spooning thick mold off apple sauce and serving it, needling Elizabeth for dumping perfectly good chicken juice a year ago Her father, meanwhile, had a terrible temper and a history of corporal punishment of his children and of his students when he was a school principal When they packed for the move to Ottawa, he didn t take his own daughter s novels Now that just seems like spite.There are many such harsh moments in this memoir, but almost as many wry ones, with Hay picking just the right anecdotes to illustrate her parents behavior and the shifting family dynamic There s a lemon meringue pie that s particularly memorable towards the book s end And Hay never looks away, no matter how hard it all gets Her father s rage against the dying of the light What about me Nincompoop I m going to live And the rest of you are going to hell contrasts with her mother s fade into confusion which was lightened by the surprisingly poetic turns of phrase she came out with despite her aphasia The title phrase, for instance, was her attempt at all things considered I wholeheartedly recommend this to readers of Hay s novels, but anyone can appreciate the picture of complicated love and grief 3.5 STARS This was the first time I had read a book by Canadian author Elizabeth Hay In All Things Consoled, she writes about her complicated relationship with her parents growing up as well as the changing dynamic between herself and her parents as they aged Hay s writing is frank, especially when she discusses her turbulent childhood and the complicated relationship she had with her parents Through the ups and downs, her love for her parents is the focus of the book and there are some emo 3.5 STARS This was the first time I had read a book by Canadian author Elizabeth Hay In All Things Consoled, she writes about her complicated relationship with her parents growing up as well as the changing dynamic between herself and her parents as they aged Hay s writing is frank, especially when she discusses her turbulent childhood and the complicated relationship she had with her parents Through the ups and downs, her love for her parents is the focus of the book and there are some emotional scenes There were some issues which were hard to read, and others were emotional so readers who can relate to dealing with aging parents may want to keep the Kleenex handy I couldn t relate as much to Hay s experiences and that may have influenced my feelings for the book The vast majority of reviewers have raved about this book and while I feel odd rating someone s life experiences, I didn t feel as connected to the book as I had hoped.Disclaimer My sincere thanks to the publisher for my complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review acts of love are never uncomplicated Acclaimed Canadian novelist, Elizabeth Hay has produced a beautifully written and affecting memoir about her parents last years In 2008 when Hay s narrative opens, the frail couple are in their late eighties and living in London, Ontario, a mid sized city in the southwest of the province, some seven hours drive from the author s Ottawa home Gordon, Elizabeth s father, had been an ambitious secondary school teacher of history and then a high school practs of love are never uncomplicated Acclaimed Canadian novelist, Elizabeth Hay has produced a beautifully written and affecting memoir about her parents last years In 2008 when Hay s narrative opens, the frail couple are in their late eighties and living in London, Ontario, a mid sized city in the southwest of the province, some seven hours drive from the author s Ottawa home Gordon, Elizabeth s father, had been an ambitious secondary school teacher of history and then a high school principal He had worked hard to advance his career, ultimately becoming a professor of education at the local university A frightening, gloomy figure, volcanic in temperament, he would erupt with fury when disobeyed, once throwing his young son hard enough across the dining room for the boy to require stitches He would later feel deeply ashamed by his loss of control, but sadly incapable of apology Jean Stevenson Hay, Elizabeth s mother, was born in the Ottawa Valley in 1919 the same year as her husband , and had apparently trained as a nurse before marrying and bearing four children Elizabeth being the third Jean ultimately turned to art, making adventurous journeys in her sixties to Canada s far north in order to explore and sketch the terrain of Ellesmere Island alongside scientists This was a time when grants were available for artists to travel to the Canadian Arctic Throughout her married life, Jean worked steadily to counterbalance her husband s dark energy, attempting to bring light into the home Having a painter s studio built just off the side of their house when she was 65 no doubt allowed her the physical space for her creativity to flourish and her psychological health to be preserved.By the end of January 2009, after her mother had undergone two knee surgeries due to a streptococcal lung infection that had spread through the blood, Hay had arranged for Gordon and Jean to live at a retirement home in Ottawa, just a short walk from her house The move would allow Elizabeth to visit them daily and tend to their needs Hay documents the physical and cognitive decline of both parents as well as many painful memories from the past A particularly sad anecdote concerns Hay s father s failure to acknowledge his daughter s literary achievements When it came time to winnow down his personal library before vacating the London house, Gordon left behind his daughter s seven novels, personally inscribed to her parents Growing up and even in adulthood , Hay s relationship with both parents was fraught All three of them were touchy, defensive, easily set off Hay feared and even hated her disapproving and fury prone father, and she harboured anger towards her mother, who had been so committed to keeping the peace that she did not defend or protect her daughter Hay is frank about her motivation for taking on the care of her parents as they neared their end it was due to a kind of competitiveness, a desire to be loved the best of the four children.This memoir makes clear that old age can be terrifying, gruelling, and heartbreaking not just for those who endure the ravages directly, the elderly themselves, but for the family members who are there for the duration In their final years and months, Hay s parents often expressed the wish that it could all just end quickly with the help of a pill In spite of all that is so difficult as loved ones lives wind down, there can be moments of beauty and love There can be opportunities to better understand family members and to appreciate the essential vulnerability of all even those who have frightened us Hay writes about some of these moments and about how she came to understand just how deeply her parents lives had been woven together.Hay s father died in 2011 her mother in 2012 A small photograph of the two together provides a touching and humble conclusion to an interesting and moving narrative I was in dangerous personal territory, in fraught border country in which my parents were sliding into neediness and I was rising in power, yet losing my own life


About the Author: Elizabeth Hay

From Elizabeth Hay s web site Elizabeth Hay was born in Owen Sound, Ontario, the daughter of a high school principal and a painter, and one of four children When she was fifteen, a year in England opened up her world and set her on the path to becoming a writer She attended the University of Toronto, then moved out west, and in 1974 went north to Yellowknife in the Northwest Territories For the next ten years she worked as a CBC radio broadcaster in Yellowknife, Winnipeg, and Toronto, and eventually freelanced from Mexico In 1986 she moved from Mexico to New York City, and in 1992, with her husband and two children, she returned to Canada, settling in Ottawa, where she has lived ever since.In 2007 Elizabeth Hay s third novel, Late Nights on Air, won the Scotiabank Giller Prize Her first novel was A Student of Weather 2000 , a finalist for the Giller Prize, the Ottawa Book Award, and the Pearson Canada Reader s Choice Award at The Word on the Street, and winner of the CAA MOSAID Technologies Inc Award for Fiction and the TORGI Award Her second novel, Garbo Laughs 2003 , won the Ottawa Book Award and was shortlisted for the Governor General s Award Hay is also the author of Crossing the Snow Line stories, 1989 The Only Snow in Havana non fiction, 1992 , which was a co winner of the Edna Staebler Award for Creative Non fiction Captivity Tales Canadians in New York non fiction, 1993 , and Small Change stories, 1997 , which was a finalist for the Governor General s Award, the Trillium Book Award, and the Rogers Communications Writers Trust Fiction Prize Hay received the Marian Engel Award for her body of work in 2002.


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